Last night the NBA kicked off and it fucking killed me. I bet the spread on both games in a parlay. It started off fantastically with the Raptors going to OT to save the spread, and then the lakers crushed my soul by completely fucking up, not even Danny Green could save me because Lebron is an incompetent alcoholic. So after Kawhi curb stomped my heart last night combined with the lingering depression from last years Celtics season, I need something to help basketball at least a little bet fun. So that means it’s time to name the NBA all skiing team.
Point Guard- Henrik Harlaut
This one is a no brainer. Henrik has been the best most famous skier in the world for as long as I remember and there doesn’t seem to be any signs of him stopping. He’s the clear captain of this team taking the Steph Curry role because of his personality and ability to get everyone in the world pumped up. Plus he’s got unbelievable skill and talent and also goes deeper than anyone.
Shooting guard- Nick McNutt
Nick McNutt is here for one reason and one reason only, he simply does not miss. A former rookie of the year who continues to put up numbers almost like Vince Carter. Wow that comparison is actually better than I thought, McNutt flys through the air with a grace very similar to Vince, only difference is Vince doesn’t usually land backwards. I feel like McNutt will continue to hold this spot for years unless he someday decides to make the switch to point guard.
Forward- Tim Durtschi 
Here’s an easy one. I know I’m kinda sucking TGR’s dick right now but it’s whatever cus all of those guys fucking rip. Tim Durtschi is so god damn big but skis with a ton of finesse. He’s almost like Lebron except he’s not a dick, and he drinks IPA’s not wine. I love watching Tim Durtschi ski so much because it just doesn’t make sense that someone that tall can contort himself like he does, it’s fucking awesome. Fuck Lebron
Forward- Robby Kelly
Robby Kelly has to be the best Multi sport athlete on this list. He has been PROLIFIC for Casletons football team so far, with an impressive 6 receiving yards on 2 receptions in 4 games played. Fucking unreal. He’s kinda big but not really, I bet he’d still be able to body up Lebron in the post though. Again, fuck Lebron
Center- Mikaela Shiffrin
This may seem like a confusing pick given that the Average NBA center is 6’11”,250lbs and Mikaela is only 5’7” but this has nothing to do with size, it’s all about dominance. That may seem creepy with the way I’ve previously gushed about Mikaela but I’m talking about her skiing. At 24 years old, Mikaela is the most dominant skier in the world and very similar to Shaq, she’s completely unstopable. When Shaq was in his prime, there was not a damn thing anyone could do about him. He was going to put up 30 and 20 no matter what. And Mikaela is the same way. Size wize, her and Shaq could not possibly be more different, but she is equally as dominant on the ski hill as Shaq was on a basketball court. It’s fucking insane.
6th Man- Tom Brady
I know Tom Brady doesn’t play basketball but he may be the most hardcore skier on this list. He clearly gets it, bigger and faster means everything. I can’t imagine he’s a great baller but having someone with his game management skills is extremely helpful coming off the bench. And since he’s such a rad skier I could definitely see the rest of the team rallying around him.
Gnarstool Sports 