Since the coronavirus put an early end to the ski season, skiers all around the world have been going crazy trying to keep occupied and still feel like ski season is alive. Corona fucked the ski season and now everybody is going through withdrawals. Whether you ski every day like me or you’re a weekend warrior by now I’m sure all anybody wants to do is fucking ski. There was still so much skiing left to be had this year but nope. No more skiing for you. I feel like Jack Sparrow when he’s stranded with elizabeth swan. I’m Jack Sparrow, corona is Elizabeth Swan and ski season is the rum. I’ve been longing for just a little taste of skiing, just something to get me through and at least hold off the shakes for a bit. I watched “Almost Ablaze” 3 times yesterday. THREE TIMES! IN ONE DAY! Just to try and get a little taste ski season. Like a cokehead licking the inside of the baggie.
While my attempts at fighting addiction have been weak and mostly unsuccessful, this dad has completely dominated quarantine by making a mini ski resort in his backyard with a rope, a lawn chair and a white carpet. This looks like an absolute dream to me right now, although that ramp is literally the length of my skis. It looks like state of the art resort as far as I’m concerned though. The snow looks nice and firm and the lift service is excellent with some nice Austrian folk music to get the send juices flowing. I just wish my Ikon pass worked there though because if it did I’d be on the next flight to austria to show those girls how a real ski bum shreds some carpet. Kids fucking suck at skiing.
Gnarstool Sports 